{"id":26537,"date":"2022-03-02T12:26:17","date_gmt":"2022-03-02T03:26:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/shomei-tanteidan.org\/?p=26537"},"modified":"2022-03-04T16:39:07","modified_gmt":"2022-03-04T07:39:07","slug":"coffeebreak-066","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shomei-tanteidan.org\/en\/coffeebreak-066\/","title":{"rendered":"Vol.066- Marriage or Single Life"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n<p>Interviewer: Jing Liu<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/shomei-tanteidan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/IMG_1042.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-26448\" src=\"https:\/\/shomei-tanteidan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/IMG_1042-1024x768.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"824\" height=\"617\" srcset=\"https:\/\/shomei-tanteidan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/IMG_1042-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/shomei-tanteidan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/IMG_1042-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/shomei-tanteidan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/IMG_1042-768x576.jpg 768w, https:\/\/shomei-tanteidan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/IMG_1042-1536x1152.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/shomei-tanteidan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/IMG_1042-200x150.jpg 200w, https:\/\/shomei-tanteidan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/IMG_1042-800x600.jpg 800w, https:\/\/shomei-tanteidan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/IMG_1042.jpg 2016w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 824px) 100vw, 824px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Mende<\/strong>\uff1a So, what is today&#8217;s topic of discussion?<\/p>\r\n<p><strong>Liu<\/strong>\uff1a Marriage or single life?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Mende<\/strong>\uff1a How come you chose this topic today?!<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Liu<\/strong>\uff1a This is a hot topic of discussion in China right now.\u00a0\u00a0 Personally, my parents have been asking about marriage as of late, so it is a subject on my mind.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Mende<\/strong>\uff1a Are you an only child?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Liu<\/strong>\uff1a I have an older brother.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Mende<\/strong>\uff1a As the younger brother, born while the one-child policy was in place, did you have any trouble?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Liu<\/strong>\uff1a I heard my parents had to pay a fine.\u00a0\u00a0 Also, both of my parents worked at a government-run company, so they each had to take a 20% cut in salary.\u00a0 Personally, I think it is fine not to get married, but for the sake of my parents who raised me, I think that is a good enough reason to get married.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Mende<\/strong>\uff1a So, are you prepared to make a decision, marriage or single life, based on today&#8217;s talk?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Liu<\/strong>\uff1a If I find someone and fall in love, I think I will get married, but if that proves difficult I am fine with the single life.\u00a0 However, in China, it is very difficult for men to get married.\u00a0 One reason is the number of eligible men for marriage is more than 30 million compared to women of the same age.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Mende<\/strong>\uff1a There are fewer women than men?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Liu<\/strong>\uff1a Yes. Unquestionably, there are fewer women.\u00a0 So, when there is an engagement, the bride&#8217;s family holds a stronger position at the bargaining table, requesting marriage conditions from the groom&#8217;s family, like buying a new car or house and marriage payoffs are also essential.\u00a0 Depending on where you live the conditions are different.\u00a0 My cousin&#8217;s fiance requested a payoff of 5 million-plus a new house and car.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Mende<\/strong>\uff1a Even if one wants to get married if you don&#8217;t have any money you can`t get married?!\u00a0 The groom&#8217;s parents won&#8217;t pay?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Liu<\/strong>\uff1a Yes, that happens.\u00a0 For my family, it will be tough.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Mende<\/strong>\uff1a But the parents aren`t the ones to be married.\u00a0 Say, a man doesn&#8217;t make very much, but he is a really great guy.\u00a0 Are there no women who are willing to get married despite their parents&#8217; disapproval?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Liu<\/strong>\uff1a Only a few.\u00a0 In China, the mother of the bride is in the most powerful position and taking a stand against her is very difficult.\u00a0 Socially, there is a strong tendency that men should pay.\u00a0 Sometimes the bride&#8217;s family will pay, but the groom will not have much say in anything after that.\u00a0 I get the impression that in cases like this, marriage life doesn&#8217;t go very smoothly.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Mende<\/strong>\uff1a Troubling.\u00a0 So, your parents are telling you to get married, but in reality, it is not very easy to get married?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Liu<\/strong>\uff1a Yes.\u00a0 How about you?\u00a0 Do you think people should get married or stay single?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Mende<\/strong>\uff1a I don&#8217;t think either is good or bad.\u00a0 However, I think marriage is the only social system in place right now.\u00a0 My friend from Denmark is not married but has a family with his partner and the children are told that Mom and Dad are partners.\u00a0 The idea of building a happy family life without being married exists in Northern Europe.\u00a0\u00a0 In old Japan, love-based marriages were rare.\u00a0 The family usually decided on one`s partner, so ties between families were very important.\u00a0 I&#8217;m sure there were a lot of oppressive marriages.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Liu<\/strong>\uff1a Even in China today, ties between families are very important.\u00a0 I think love-based marriages are very few.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Mende<\/strong>\uff1a So if no love is kindled within marriages, are there a lot of divorces?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Liu<\/strong>\uff1a For the younger generation divorce rates are going up.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Mende<\/strong>\uff1a My friend living in Paris says, more than half of married couples in Paris get a divorce.\u00a0 A divorce rate of over 50%.\u00a0\u00a0 Well, the divorce rate seems to be rising in Japan, too.\u00a0 In addition, people unmarried for life and those who choose not to have a partner at all, are also on the rise.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n<p>However, whether it is a real marriage or common-law arrangement, the merger requires one to live with another person, someone besides themselves.\u00a0 This means taking into consideration another person&#8217;s needs. If you do something nice for your partner, it also makes you feel good.\u00a0 This is what living together means, doesn`t it?\u00a0 If this isn&#8217;t the case, I don&#8217;t see the purpose.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Liu<\/strong>\uff1a Yes, a form of sharing.\u00a0 Sharing the same space and fun times together.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Mende<\/strong>\uff1a Yes, to share the good times, along with the bad.\u00a0 Although sharing can be troublesome at times, but these moments have an important meaning.\u00a0\u00a0 Whether you get married or not, living with a partner helps you develop as a person.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\r\n<figure class=\"alignright size-large is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/shomei-tanteidan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/bride-g69e5d4724_1280-1.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-26450\" src=\"https:\/\/shomei-tanteidan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/bride-g69e5d4724_1280-1-1024x682.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"503\" height=\"337\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Liu<\/strong>\uff1a Yes.\u00a0 For example, cooking together might be fun.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Mende<\/strong>\uff1a Yes, that is right.\u00a0 Like taking the time to help with, say removing the roots from bean sprouts.\u00a0 There is meaning in this.\u00a0 I think it is kind of sad that some people think things like this are a nuisance, so they don&#8217;t want to get married or don`t need a partner.\u00a0 Your partner`s joy is also your own joy.\u00a0\u00a0 Love is not something to receive but is something to unconditionally give away.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Liu<\/strong>\uff1aYes, I think I am starting to get a more positive feeling about marriage.\u00a0 I think I will look more actively for that someone.\u00a0 Thank you for your time today.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Interviewer: Jing Liu Mende\uff1a So, what is today&#8217;s topic of discussion? Liu\uff1a Marriage or single life? Mende\uff1a How come you chose this topic today?! Liu\uff1a This is a hot topic of discussion in China right now.\u00a0\u00a0 Personally, my parents have &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":26448,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_locale":"en_US","_original_post":"http:\/\/shomei-tanteidan.org\/?p=26446","footnotes":""},"categories":[5,7],"tags":[152,1302,3342,3343,3344,3345,3346],"class_list":["post-26537","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coffeebreak","category-note","tag-152","tag-1302","tag-3342","tag-3343","tag-3344","tag-3345","tag-3346","en-US"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Vol.066- Marriage or Single Life - \u7167\u660e\u63a2\u5075\u56e3.<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/shomei-tanteidan.org\/en\/coffeebreak-066\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Vol.066- Marriage or Single Life - \u7167\u660e\u63a2\u5075\u56e3.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Interviewer: Jing Liu Mende\uff1a So, what is today&#8217;s topic of discussion? 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Liu\uff1a Marriage or single life? Mende\uff1a How come you chose this topic today?! 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